Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
