I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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