Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
How does one acquire holy water?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
