i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
We smell like vodka and hangover
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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