Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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