I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I can't put those talents on a resume
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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