If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
