i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
