I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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