thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
