If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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