I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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