Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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