Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
