we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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