he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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