So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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