my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
