Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
