STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
