do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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