Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
