Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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