Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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