So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Randomize
