we have pet lesbian snakes
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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