Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
