What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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