Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
