your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
