a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Life without a bra equals bliss.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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