I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
