I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
