When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
