He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
