Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize