I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
