party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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