I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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