So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
