I puked a lego.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
