end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
