Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
