everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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