just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
