I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
