Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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