So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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