At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
