Where is the hickey?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
no you cant smoke seaweed
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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