I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
