Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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