My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you would pick up someone in the library
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
