Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
