Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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