no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
