We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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