I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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