seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
