My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
