end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
