Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
