Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
