can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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