Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
