Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
